Money & Marriage: The Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before Saying "I Do"

When we think of getting married, we often focus on the wedding most. On the venue, the guest list, the dress, or the honeymoon. But one of the most important conversations—perhaps the most important before walking down that beautiful aisle—is about money.

Money is the number one cause of arguments worldwide! It is a common issue that leads to divorce. Yet we don’t talk about it before getting married.

How will you share finances? Will you pool everything into one account? Keep it separate? Or go with a hybrid model?

One of the most common questions I get asked is ‘how should we manage our money as a couple?’

For most couples, a joint account for shared expenses—like rent, groceries, or childcare—alongside individual accounts for personal spending works well. It allows for transparency on household expenses while maintaining independence.

But there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Culture, personal values, and expectations all play a role, which is why these conversations must start early.

Investing as a Couple

Many couples struggle with different money habits—one might love a good spreadsheet, the other prefers automation and a hands-off approach. And that’s okay. Start with judgement-free conversations about your financial management, your long-term goals and your financial habits. Want to retire early? Buy a home? Travel the world? Align your goals, and then work out the “how” together. I also recommend keeping individual investments with your personal funds. This way, joint goals are supported without losing autonomy.

Before the Wedding

Please talk about money. Too many couples delay this. Talk about your financial history, your mindset, your fears, and your expectations. Most women associate money with security, while many men see it as success. Understanding this emotional layer can deepen connection and reduce tension later.

Ask:

• What does money mean to you?

• What are your financial goals?

• How do you feel about debt or spending?

• How do you feel about investing?

• What financial role models did you grow up with?

These conversations often bring couples closer. Avoiding them can lead to misunderstanding or resentment.

Budgeting for the Big Day

Be honest about what matters most. Prioritise what’s meaningful and don’t get swept up in the pressure to have a perfect day. Wedding loans? I recommend avoiding them if possible. Taking on debt right at the start of your marriage can create stress. If you must borrow, make sure it’s affordable—and consider postponing things like a honeymoon instead.

One Common Trap

Newlyweds often fall into lifestyle inflation. Just because you're now a household doesn’t mean you need to spend like one. Agree on what’s important, create a budget, and build an emergency fund. And if there’s a big income gap, don’t force everything to be 50/50—plan fairly, not equally.

Financial intimacy is just as important as emotional intimacy. Talk often. Be honest. Support each other. You’re building more than a wedding day—you’re building a life together. ❤️

Ready to build financial intimacy in your relationship?
Whether you're newly engaged, about to move in together, or already married—talking about money can transform your connection. If you’re not sure where to start, I can help.

📥 Book a money clarity session or explore my financial coaching packages for couples.
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